I Paid $10 Billion For The Launch Codes and All I Got Was This Lousy Blog
You ever think about how many things launch every year? Websites, rocket ships, water balloons, shot puts, catapults, mice that wear little helmets and fly paper airplanes…lots of things! You know what all these things have in common? They all come crashing back down, sometimes with fire attached.
b5 Music Channel is NOT a mouse that wears a little helmet and flies a paper airplane. If anything, it is a genetically superior mouse who has built a personal transportation capsule that will revolutionize interstellar travel and confound anyone who tries to understand it as a metaphor.
Seriously, don’t even bother. It could damage your brain, and I don’t want to be responsible for that.
What I am responsible for (Yeehaw! We call that a “transition” boys and girls!) is your entertainment and I’m going to use a combination of 20 years worth of music videos and my, uh, *inspired* thoughts on as many of them as I can handle to keep you coming back.
Hopefully.
If my thoughts don’t keep you salivating for more, I’m not afraid of posting increasingly more revealing pictures of my rough yet sensitive face and sculpted torso. One way or another, you will come back! Oh, how you will come back!
Of course, the rest of b5 is made up of exciting, knowledgeable writers who are gonna illuminate almost every conceivable corner of the music industry for you with their expertise and enthusiasm and I promise you, it’s gonna be awesome!
Oh, and don’t forget! You’re a HUGE part of this success! I need to know what bands and videos you want me to tear apart/put on a glorious, golden pedestal for a global audience, or I’m just gonna post on a video by whatever band I happen to put on when I wake up in the morning.
And trust me, no one wants to watch that many Everclear videos. No one.
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4 opinions for I Paid $10 Billion For The Launch Codes and All I Got Was This Lousy Blog
Jeremy Wright
Jul 9, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Holy crap, this has to be the best launch post EVAR!
Ambient Decay
Jul 9, 2007 at 1:43 pm
OH COME ON. You know you want to either watch it or listen to Everclear. Grab an iPod, hope in your red ford F150, Blare “What it’s Like” while chowing down on a double cheeseburger on your way to Wal-Mart. Nice post. Keep em coming!
Jennifer
Jul 10, 2007 at 12:02 am
What Jeremy said — very slick. I saw it way early this morning but was too busy to pop over, anyway it made me smile, something I thought I was too tired to do. Thanks!
Peace
Chris
Jul 10, 2007 at 1:45 am
Glad you guys dig it!
And Everlast wrote “What It’s Like,” not Everclear, but honestly, I’d rather blare that in the given situation.
Why? Let’s face it, I just don’t think the other cowboys down in the Home and Garden section over by Sporting Goods would appreciate the irony-laden sounds of “Wonderful,” and “Father of Mine,” as they pick over lawn gnomes and shotgun ammo before they slam down three cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon on the way to pick up Randy Jr.
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