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Killed By The Video Star

Archive for July 2007

July 11th, 2007

Think I’ll Go To Yamaha Beach

Augustana
“Boston”
Album: All the Stars and Boulevards
When I say “Boston,” what do you think of? Baked beans? The Red Sox? Racism? How about beaches? Can you name a famous beach in Boston? Southie? No, close. That’s by the water, but it’s not really a “beach” in the traditional […]

By ccullari -- 0 comments

July 10th, 2007

On Revolutionizing Elementary School Theater

Snow Patrol
“Signal Flare”
Album: Music From and Inspired By Spiderman 3
You know what Snow Patrol is good at? Re-writing “Chocolate,” and giving it a larger string section every time. This time they called it “Signal Fire,” and finished it just in time to see it featured on the Spiderman 3 soundtrack! What luck!
Can’t […]

By ccullari -- 1 comment

July 9th, 2007

I Paid $10 Billion For The Launch Codes and All I Got Was This Lousy Blog

You ever think about how many things launch every year?  Websites, rocket ships, water balloons, shot puts, catapults, mice that wear little helmets and fly paper airplanes…lots of things!  You know what all these things have in common?  They all come crashing back down, sometimes with fire attached.
b5 Music Channel is NOT a mouse that […]

By ccullari -- 4 comments

July 7th, 2007

Panic! In My Alkaline Trio!

Alkaline Trio
“Burn”
Album: Crimson
Nononono! How could this happen? Hasn’t it been pretty well agreed upon that circus sideshow videos are played out? When Panic! At the Disco and Shane Drake won their MTV Music Video award for one of their three or four clips that all recycled the same basic concept did you […]

By ccullari -- 0 comments

July 4th, 2007

Run, Garbage Bag Santa, Run!

Menomena
“Cough, Coughing”
Album: I Am the Fun Blame Monster
If I ever had to invent a holiday, it would be called “Steak Day,” and we would all hang steel-toed boots with our names on them from the sides of our grills. When we woke up in the morning, we would all find big, juicy steaks […]

By ccullari -- 0 comments

July 2nd, 2007

This Video R The Bad

Good Charlotte
“Keep Your Hands Off My Girl”
Album: Good Morning, Revival
The best way for me to begin any sort of assessment of this video is to refer to the words of fellow critic Stardancer11. In this video’s YouTube comments, she draws the following conclusion: “GOOD CHARLOTTE R THE BEST BAND.”
For someone who has chosen to […]

By ccullari -- 2 comments

July 2nd, 2007

Muse Has Bigger Brains Than You

Muse
“Knights of Cydonia”
Album: Black Holes and Revelations
Some music videos are cool. Some are awesome. And some need to be worshiped like the life-affirming religious experiences that they are.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, “Knights of Cydonia.”
Not only was Muse cool enough to have the giant, cantaloupe sized…uh, brains…to release a sprawling, six-minute […]

By ccullari -- 3 comments

July 1st, 2007

Sgt. Pepper’s Terrible Video Club Band

Paul McCartney
“Dance Tonight”
Album: Memory Almost Full
This?! Really, Sir Paul, this? This is the best you could afford for the video for the lead single off your big, new, Starbucks released album?! Did the coffee plantation workers finally rebel this month, or did you really just spend the whole budget for your […]

By ccullari -- 1 comment

July 1st, 2007

Song In A Box

Sherwood
“Song In My Head”
Album: A Different Light
Holy crap! This kid’s got a miniature cardboard band in a shoebox!
Little known fact: this form of entertainment was actually wildly popular in Victorian London right between the chamber orchestra craze and the invention of the wax sound cylinder. Unfortunately, back then, the little cardboard men […]

By ccullari -- 0 comments

July 1st, 2007

Mexican Hat Slam-Dancing

From First To Last
“Ride the Wings of Pestilence”
Album: Dear Diary, My Teen Angst Has A Body Count
Well, I think I can safely predict which side of the immigration debate the raven-haired boys of From First To Last fall on. Their “Ringu” meets “Desperado” clip for the “Ride the Wings of Pestilence,” misappropriates Mexican […]

By ccullari -- 0 comments

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